How would you handle this family situation?

Whoa! That is a lot for you and your husband to pay for. Look, you should confront them saying all that you have said here. But check with your husband too. Try and find a way to ease them down. Tell them to lower there expenses. I'm from family of five and i haven't gotten to go to India in six years. Sounds like they spend more than enough. Tell them you can't support them when they can support themselves. You have your own family to take care of. tell this to them.Hope it works out.